Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

Updated!

My internet is down, thanks to the incessant rain here. Why has Chennai all of a sudden become a favourite of the rain gods? Like that character from one of the Hitchhiker books, whatshishname, the guy on who it rains all the time. The book in which Arthur meets Fenchurch, book 3 was it?

I'm slightly, ok, quite obsessional about the internet, and began exhibiting withdrawal symptoms after going without it for about 15 straight hours! So here I am, sitting in a net cafe, in front of a god- forsaken Windows machine (My blog looks terrible! The colours are awful, the font size is a bit off, is this what it looks like to most people?) , trying to kill the one hour of internet time I've already paid for.

Since this is such a random post anyway, perhaps it's a good time to write about the random things that mothers come up with it. Atleast what mine and my friends' come up with. Ever since first year of college, we've been trying to compile a list of strange things that have been done/said by our mothers. The idea was to choose a winner at the end of four years, something we never got around to doing. Here are some examples, off the top of my head (in no particular order). Readers are welcome to submit their own entries, so a list may be compiled and winners chosen.
1. My mother believes that Adam and Eve descended from the apes.
2. She also believes any woman who marries late/does not marry will get (unspecified) cancer (note the tone of finality in that statement).
3. She once said "The milk tastes odd today because the cow hasn't been started on its regular diet. I had a chat with the milkman today, now drink up!" No, we don't have a cow in the house.
4.She fervently believes that my father is the sole cause for her weight gain. What's aman to do when asked "Do I look fat?" by his wife? Take the only course of action open to him, and say No. Which is what my father did, but every so now and then dropped subtle hints that she should get on the weighing machine. But obviously, she never did, choosing to reject empirical evidence in favour of my father's testimonial.
5. T's mother once sent her 5 raisins along with an inland letter, which T had no choice but to eat. I swear, I saw this.
6. She asked T to take Vitamin C pills, to prevent her from getting SARS . Ok, now here's her funda: Vit.C prevent colds, and so long as you don't catch a cold, SARS can't 'get into' your body. Besides, the anti-oxidant properties of Vit. C would also work against the SARS virus.
7. While driving, she hit the accelerator instead of the break and the unfortunate car went flying (yes, james bond style) across a canal, broke 2 walls and finally came to a dramatic halt by a tree! Understandbly T's father does not let her mother touch the car anymore.
8.M's mother doesn't let the windows in the house be kept open during the rainy season, lest snakes make their way into the house. The door can stay wide open, of course.
9.D's mother takes off her glasses so she doesn't miss important dialogues in films/serials etc. She believes that she cannot hear properly with glasses on, you see.
10. A's mother types out entire SMS messages in the 'insert word' mode. She will not turn off dictionary and make life simpler for herself.
11. rtp chips in with this: I know one mother who has to play a game of one-upmanship with regard to edible gifts. So if someone brings over a cake, she has to give them two. If they bring over a half kg of chicken curry, she has to give them a kg.

That's all for now, will post more once I can think of them