Midnight snack of filter coffee and bhujia. Not a good combination. I think it'll keep me awake (which is the objective here) one way or other. Anyway this week's collected bits of idiocy:

We had a lecture on Schizophrenia the other day. Given its negative connotations, a certain do-gooding section of the society felt that calling Schizophrenia something else would be a bit of an image-cum-morale booster. And so some names were suggested. Notable among these are (really, I kid you not) 'My-mind-lies-to-me'(!) and Martyrdom(!!). Hah, morale boosting indeed.

Apparently (or at least if my neuropsychology prof is to be believed) people with tattoos can't go near an MRI machine- the metal in the ink gets attracted to the very powerful magnet in the MRI, and results in um, injury. Ouch.

In other news, James Cameron tries rather too late to cash in on the Da Vicni craze, but everyone laughs at him. American restaurants launch the concept of 'extreme eating',a.k.a 'angioplasta'. Each dish contains is quite literally a calorie bomb at 2,500 calories. Exactly what the doctor ordered.

Orkut's latest avatar: matrimonial website. No, really. Boy meets girl on Orkut. He in Kuwait, she in England. They become friends, profess undying love, vow marriage all presumably over scraps, and all without having met even once...

One year later. Cut to village in Kerala, girl is back home after obtaining MBA. Here (for lack of a more convenient option probably)she meets boy (also visiting family in nearby Kottayam) for the first time. FOR THE FIRST TIME. But, danger lurks. Unbenownst to them they are spied on by evil relative, who telephones parents of girl with the bad news. Girl forced to confess about boyfriend, and shock, horror! She be catholic, and he protestant! *Swoon*

Many tears, and much chest beating later, girl is confined to house arrest. Girl now chief traitor of the family values and syrian christian traditions that they have so valiantly upheld from the time they were proud, newly converted Namboodiri-Catholics. A thousand years of inbreeding down the drain. And the sheer bad taste- she fancies a lowly protestant! Some liberal relatives meet the boy and reject him. Brother of girl being rabid fundamental catholic hacks into her account and deletes all boy's emails to girl. Probably scraps too. Girl swears to family she won't have anything to do with boy anymore (a lie,but what else is she to do?). She is released from house arrest.

One month later. Family repents (thanks to boy's Mercedes and billions that did it) Girl's marriage to boy fixed. All's well that ends well. Joy, happiness, Yay, hurrah and all that.

This is a true story. They should make it into a movie. It has the romance and the drama, the wailing women (Yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti! Or the Mal equivalent thereof. Eye, would you be so kind as to provide the words?) and the vengeful brother, the villainous relative and all the right morals- love that is not physical, but spiritual, love that transcends boundaries geographical and religious. And family values, and tolerance etc etc etc.

[Disclaimer: I'm being evil, I shouldn't be sneering. I happen to know the girl in the story, and she's really nice. I've got nothing against people meeting on orkut and getting married afterwards (or not), although how practical it is to make that decision without meeting each other, I will refrain from commenting upon. But the family's reaction:(and these are really nice people, I've met them) to foam at the mouth over something as minor as catholicism/protestantism is imo, worthy of contempt. I mean, I would have even understood their alarm if the boy was hindu/muslim/parsee/mormon/whatever else.]